My Testimony by Lois Franklin I grew up in a home without God. As such, I lived in fear, anguish, and agony as a child growing up. Both my parents abused me in many ways; physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and sexually. Physically, I was beaten from time to time until there were bruises and cuts all over my body. I have a scar on my left foot from when my father stuck my foot to the floor with a knife. I have another one under my arm from when my father tried to stab me in the chest, and I jumped back and the knife caught me under my arm, as well as many other scars. At the age of nine months old, my ear drums were busted from blows to the head. It seemed that my mother could not stand a crying baby. For many years I was legally deaf, but if I knew someone was talking to me, and listened close, I could make out what was being said. I had to be especially careful to know when my parents were talking to me, because if I did not hear them when they told me to do something, they would hit me with whatever they could get their hands on, a fire iron, a stick of wood, a chair. If they couldn't get their hands on something to hit me with, they would hit me with their fists. If I walked passed my mother, I never knew whether she was going to hit me or not. After I started to school, the school helped get some assistance, and I had surgery on my ears. After the surgery, I was able to hear normally. Emotionally, the scars were more than just skin deep. They reached into my very being. I remember as far back as to when I was five years old my mother calling me a whore, a tramp, and a slut. At that age I didn't know what these things meant, but by the snarl on her face and the tone in her voice, I knew they were bad things. I remember crying myself to sleep at night, saying over and over, that I wasn't a bad girl. Verbally, I was told all my life that I was stupid, I would never amount to anything, I was worthless, and I would never be anybody or have anything. My mother repeatedly told me that all I would ever be was a sex object to some man. The sexual abuse began when I was eight years old. I will not go into the gory details of the sexual abuse, but I will tell you that it was horrid. Consequently, I had to have a complete hysterectomy at the age of nineteen, and was never able to have children of my own. This was in February of 1972, a week after I was married, and three months before I turned twenty years old. I did not know what a hysterectomy was until after the surgery. When I learned what it meant, I was devastated, and cried for days. Because of my emotional condition, I was in the hospital for three weeks. I had to run away from home to get out of the abuse. This was not easy to do, because my parents locked me in my room at night. I was seventeen years old when I finally thought of a way to get away. At that time my heart's intent was on proving my parents was wrong. I was not a whore, a tramp, or a slut. I was not stupid, or worthless, or good for nothing, and I would not end up being a sex object to some man. I did not run off with some guy, as do many others. I wanted to get an education, and start a career, so when I left, I went to the authorities for help. At that time, there was no help for abused children as there is today. However, I was able to get some help and not have to go back home to live to suffer from more abuse. I know if the authorities had made me go back, my parents may have killed me. I did try, for the goals that I had set, but I was tormented day and night with thoughts of what I had gone through. Though I tried to fight it, I continually relived the horrid things that were done to me. My health was deteriorating. Because of some of the physical abuse, I developed some physical problems. Along with my financial situation and other circumstances, I was not able to finish high school. It was so sad, I had on three months to go before graduation. I later went to night school and obtained my high school diploma, and went on to get and Associate and Business Degree in Secretarial Science. However, at the time, the help that I was able to receive helped me in another way. I hated sex of any kind. Along with it, I hated men. I was able to go to a boarding school, where I learned there was goodness in some guys. The reason I was not able to graduate was that at this boarding school, I worked on campus to pay for two thirds of my tuition. I had a sponsor that paid the other third. But, during a basketball game I was tripped and pulled a ligament in my left leg, and was not able to do the work, so my sponsor discontinued the funds for the other third. After that I stayed with my sisters until I met my husband. During that time, I tried to work on a job, but my health would not allow me. I was already in a mild depression. After the hysterectomy at age 19, I began started going through menopause, and that sent me into a severe depressed state of mind. At the time, I did not know it. I had never heard of depression. I could not sleep at night because of the nightmares. I was unable to eat without feeling blotted, so I didn't eat much and lost weight rapidly. My husband is a good man. He repeatedly told me things were OK, not to worry about things, and that it was going to be OK. However, he did not know how to comfort me in the way that I needed it. He worked hard, provided a home, and paid the bills. I was more of a burden on him than anything else. I was in the hospital every year from the physical effects of the emotional turmoil that I was in. The doctors prescribed muscle relaxer, tranquilizers, and nerve pills; but never diagnosed me as being in depression. This lasted about five years. When I was 25 years old, my husband worked night shift, and being at home at night by myself with no one to talk to was especially difficult. This was when the thoughts seemed to attack me the most. I couldn't sleep for having nightmares, and when I was awake, the thought attacked me so heavily that I would sit and cry. You see, I had become bitter, and resentful toward my parents. This bitterness and resentment eventually turned into pure hatred. Hatred is like a terminal disease. It will eat at you until it destroys you, and it almost destroyed me. One night, it seemed like all those things came down on my at once. I couldn't sleep, so I had gotten out of bed, gone to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee and had sat down at my kitchen table. In my mind I began to relive it all once again. I could see my mother's face as she told me how sorry I was. I could hear her voice screaming at me. I remembered how I would beg her not to make me go with my father, and cry. I wanted her to help me. Instead, she would make me go. I remembered how scared I was knowing that my father was going to take me into the woods, or an abandoned house and hurt me. I would cry and beg him to please not hurt me again. He would just look straight ahead as he drove, as if he didn't hear me. That night, sitting at my kitchen table, I just couldn't take it anymore. That night, I decided that the only way that I was going to end the pain, the anguish, and agony was to end my own life. But, before I did, I decided I would try to think of some good reason why I should live, some purpose for my life, or some thread of hope to cling to. I thought that if I had something to hang onto, then I would not take my own life. However, as I began to think of the possibilities, I picked them apart by my own rationality and rejected each reason and threw them aside one by one until I could not think of anything else. When I could not think of anything else, it added to the hurt in my heart. To think that there was no good reason why I should live, no purpose for my life, and no hope to cling to seemed to hurt even more than all that I had suffered at the hands of my parents. I could not go on. I began to cry, and the crying got harder and harder and more intense until my body began to jerk and I lost all sense of my surroundings, being engulfed in all that grief and despair. I cannot describe the pain, despair, and grief that I had that night for it was of pure hopelessness. I had given up. I was ready to take my own life, ready to end it all. But, somewhere in the midst of all that, I was suddenly aware of the sound of my own voice. I was trying to repeat the words to the Lord's Prayer. You see, when I was growing up, I attended school just before Prayer and Bible reading was removed from public schools. At that time, every school day began with a morning devotional. How a teacher conducted the devotional varied from teacher to teacher, but it consisted of Bible reading and a short discussion of what was read, teaching the Ten Commandments, The Golden Rule, the 23rd Psalms, John 3:16. When the devotional was over, we would stand and recite the Lord's Prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag. I was not a very good student in school. I was able to pass, but my grades were always low passing grades. At school, I was made fun of by my classmates, and the teachers seemed to be hostile toward me because of my grades. So, mostly school was of no pleasure. However, school was my only escape from the things that went on at home, and I would cry if I was too sick to go to school. I cried when the weekends came and there was no school, and cried when school let out for the summer. But, that was not the only reason I did not want to miss school. I did not want to miss a morning devotional. You have to understand my parents didn't go to Church and didn't allow us children to go to Church. When I was 15 years old, I sneaked off and went to Church with a neighbor friend. My father came to the Church, and dragged me out. So, school was the only place where I could hear the Word of God and learn about Jesus. It seemed that each school day, I would get something from the Word of God that gave me hope, that encouraged me, and that kept me going. This is why, when I was in the 10th grade, and the homeroom teacher made the announcement that Bible reading and prayer would no longer be allowed in the classroom, I was devastated. You see in the classroom was the only place that I could find Jesus. It was like I had lost my best friend. I couldn't help but to cry. My classmates didn't understand. They said to me, "Well, if you can always go to Church." They didn't understand I wasn't allowed to go to Church. At first I was hurt, and felt a great loss. Then I got angry. I had learned from the Bible reading that Jesus said that he would never leave us. I learned that he said that the gates of hell could not prevail against him. I also learned that he promised to deliver us out of the hands of our enemies. But, you see, it was never taught that I was to be born again, though I had heard it read. It was never explained to me. When schools were originally established, the purpose was to teach the children to read the Bible. By the time I began school, that purpose had been lost, as public schools were more and more controlled by the government. Over time, it had been reduced to just a few minutes at the beginning of the school day to reverence God and give him thanks. Therefore, it was not intended to establish the children in Christ, and what was taught wasn't enough to sustain. Anyway, because it wasn't intended to bring salvation to the children, or sustain them, I did not understand what was happening. Consequently, I got angry at God. I got angry because I did not understand I did not have Jesus in a Spiritual sense. Because of this, I thought he had lied to me. I thought he was leaving me, because he had allowed something to come against him. I thought that if he was not there in school where I could find him, then how was he going to help me. He was the last person that I had to trust, and just like all the rest, he let me down. You see, I had trusted people before, and they had always let me down, betrayed me, and had gone to my parents and told them what I had said, and I was beaten. As I had done with anyone else that had let me down, I told myself, I didn't need Jesus. I told myself at that time, I didn't need anybody. I could make it on my own. Well, that night at my kitchen table, I suddenly realized I couldn't make it on my own. I couldn't go any farther on my own. But, in the middle of that hopelessness, when I had entered into total despair, and I heard the sound of my own voice as I was trying to repeat the Lord's Prayer, I immediately wondered where that had come from. I knew I had not thought of it, because I had determined when I was in the 10th grade that I didn't need Jesus, and I was not going to have anymore to do with him. And up until then, I never even thought about him. But, just as immediately as I wondered where it came from, I immediately knew that it came from Jesus. All of a sudden I was aware of his presence with me. I cannot describe how I knew, but I knew he was right there, holding out his hands to me. Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice." He came to me that night with the only thing he knew I would recognize, which was the Lord's Prayer. He was telling me, "I have a reason for you to live. I have a purpose for your life." Though, at the time, I did not know what that reason was, I decided that I would not take my life, but I was going to find out. I hit my knees right there on my kitchen floor and I asked the Lord to come into my life. I made the decision that I was going to trust him, for I realized that I couldn't trust myself. I couldn't trust my life in my own hands. I made a decision that no matter what, I would depend on him for all things, and trust him to know what he was doing. It took some time, but the Lord did strengthen me. He showed me how to occupy my mind with things from above, to control my thoughts, or as Paul in the Bible said, "Taking every thought unto subject." And "Be strengthen with might in the inner man by the renewing of your mind." That night, the tears of sorrow changed to tears of joy. I began to laugh as hard as I had been crying earlier. I became a happy person. So much so, that when I was finally able to go to work on a public job, my co-workers gave me the nickname of Sunshine. However, I came to the point where I realized that I was not completely free. For me to totally be free; I must forgive my parents for what they had done to me. This was really hard, but I asked the Lord to give me the kind of love I needed to forgive them. Through a little more growing spiritually, I was finally able to do so. My father was saved, and he became a minister. I helped him in his ministry until he passed away about seven years ago. My mother has not done so yet. She still tries to destroy me. I cannot go about my mother because of this, but I do pray for her that she may get her heart right with the Lord. I have this thought that I cherish in my heart. I believe that the Lord answers prayers, and my mother will turn her heart to the Lord one day. Then someday in Heaven, I will finally know my mother's love. I may never get to know it here on earth, but finally in Heaven, I will get to experience what it feels like to have my mother hug me. I know there are many others that have gone through a lot of pain and heartache in their lives. They have been hurt and abused. I know that they carry bitterness and resentment in their hearts toward both those that hurt them, and even against God, thinking that God has allowed these bad things to happen. We must remember, God gave dominion over all the earth to man in the beginning. Having done so, God cannot intervene until we turn our hearts to him, and give him permission to rule over our lives. Otherwise, we are in the devil's territory, naked, uncovered, unprotected, and vulnerable to ever wicked deed, the influences of the devil, and the effects of sin. This is why we must be born again. We must turn our hearts unto the Lord. If you hold this bitterness and resentment in your hearts as I had done, it will continue to eat at you and eat at you just like it did me. If you allow these things to take control, they will lead you right into the pits of hell, to die without God, whether by one's own hands, or by any other means. You see, I came to realize that night, I was nothing without Jesus. I realized I could do nothing without Jesus. I realized that without Jesus, I was nothing more than an ignorant brute beast. Without Jesus, I was indeed all those things that my mother said I was. Without Jesus I was stupid. Without Jesus I was worthless. Without Jesus, I didn't amount to the dust anyone can scrape off the bottom of their shoes. But with Jesus, I am more than a conqueror. With Christ Jesus, I am made strong in my weakness. With Jesus, I have all knowledge and all wisdom, for these things are in Christ Jesus. He is my righteousness, without him, my righteousness is as filthy rags. Through Christ Jesus, I am made an heir of God and a joint heir with him unto the promises. So, please don't hang onto all those bad things people have said you are. Please don't accept any adverse thing into your hearts. Turn to Jesus, and in him you have all Power, all knowledge, and all wisdom. Through him, you will have power over all the powers of the enemy. Don't risk ending up like I did, and not being able to hear his voice when he comes to you, saying "Here I am, I am with you always." The Lord has since revealed to me, that because it is not the Will of God for any to perish, that he always comes to those that contemplate suicide, with things that they have heard of him. Only these things can they recognize. But, many refuse to hear him. They choose death, instead of life. Jesus promises us life, and that more abundantly. He will give you courage to go out and seek help. He will give you knowledge of how to get out of that way of life. He will give you wisdom, that you will not be entrapped in that kind of situation again. He will teach you to hear his voice, as he calls to you, come and follow me. Amen CLICK HERE

Shawn's Testimony

My Testimony By Shawn Weber I'm not sure where to start, so I will start from the beginning of my life.  I grew up a pretty happy kid initially, I had everything materially I could want as my family had money and my family for the most part was pretty loving. My biological dad had left me and my mom at an early age but he still kept in contact and would often come by to see me.  My mom eventually married this guy named Mike when I was maybe 6, who unfortunately was a drunk and a belligerent person. He never hurt us physically but he was sometimes verbally abusive.  Sometimes he would try to spend time with me but all to often he was watching football and pounding booze.  I was too young to really understand what was wrong with him, and my mom never talked about why he acted weird.  I managed to get through the time he was with us without being damaged too much.  He was with us for several years but left one day without saying anything and that was the end of it.  Not long after this my mother started being abusive towards me verbally & physically, and developed a prescription drug habit that her doctors seemed only too happy to feed.  This is when my life started to drastically change for the worse.  My mother changed after Mike left, she started to have a lot of physical problems and developed emotional problems, I know she felt terribly with her divorce from Mike. My mom would keep me in the house constantly, she would let me out of the house maybe once a week for say an hour to see my friends.  I became very introverted and depressed.  She was constantly on my case about everything, I was something to direct her anger & frustration on.  If I didn't get good grades at school she would scream horrible things at me for hours on end, sometimes she would hit me.  I recall her throwing canned vegetables at me when I wasn't looking, and her shoving my head into a wall.  The only solace I ever got was when my grandparents would come by to see me on Friday nights to take me out to eat, and sometimes I would spend the weekend with them as well.  During this time too at school I was picked on every day.  I don't know which was worse, being at school where I was tormented by my peers or going home to be abused by my mom.  I remember I got heavily into fantasy and Dungeons & Dragons and some other even more hard-core role-playing games that were filled with brutal violence, I did it all the time in my room, maybe 4-5 hours a day.  After a while, all I wanted to do was play in my fantasy world, where I could kill those who angered me and wield power.  I noticed all the real powerful characters and entities in Dungeons & Dragons & Role master were pure evil... Vampires and the "undead", demons and entities from other worlds like the "Astral Plane" or the "Abyss"..  I started to admire them, to think evil was cool.  I put up with my mom's abuse towards me until I was 14, I had had enough.  One day she was being really belligerent with me, threatening me and such, telling me if I didn't take out the trash immediately I was going to get it.  She just kept screaming at me and belittling me.  Something snapped in me all of a sudden, and I got filled with rage and hatred.  I threw the trash down and stormed up to her and proceeded to strike her with everything I had, I wanted to kill her.  I beat her up pretty badly, and she ran to her room.  I remember after that, I felt "empowered". I knew from that day on, I would never have any respect for her or anyone else, I would just beat people up if they treated me bad.  I felt violence was power & strength, and everything else was a joke or secondary, especially love, even though it took years until I drove that out of me. My teenage years were pretty crazy, I hung out with my best friend Roger and we both got into martial arts and we were heavy into causing all kinds of mayhem in our neighborhood.  I had also become a neo-Nazi at this time and I loved to read everything about the Third Reich & Hitler, and often shared my views on it with people, I loved wearing swastikas and all black clothing and steel toe boots.  I would do the "Sieg Heil" in public just to anger people.  Nazism followed me for almost 15 years, and filled me with even more hatred for people and life.  I moved in with my grandparents at about 15, my mother could no longer handle me and they decided it was best if they separated us.  Now my cousin also lived with my grandparents and unfortunately he was into the party scene and did drugs & was an alcoholic, him and I didn't always get along and even though I had loved him when I was growing up, living with him was a nightmare at times and we butted heads many times.  But, I largely ignored him and just hung out with my circle of friends.  We were big time vandals and we loved causing trouble.  We formed a group of people (5-6 people) and we played Role-Playing games all day (when we weren't vandalizing, training in martial arts or stealing) and I was the game master/dungeon master.  We were all hard-core into it.  We also loved playing every kind of war game out there, such as Supremacy, World In Flames & Axis & Allies.  We even came up with more "realistic" war games and designed our maps, playing pieces & boards from scratch.  And we continued to learn and train in martial arts, every day.  We would gear up and do full contact fighting with each other, practice choke holds and learn to target soft points on the human body (eyes, temple, ect..).  I remember Roger and me would just go into book stores or hobby stores and steal *constantly* (we loved stealing Role-Playing books), we would walk out with hundreds of dollars worth of stuff from just one store, and we would usually target several stores a day, even driving to different cities.  We would practice stealing often too, we got very skilled at store theft, we would even wear our "stealing clothes" that had special belts and pockets for concealing books.  I remember we were wearing baggy clothes long before it got popular (we just bought clothes that were too big for us), but we weren't making a fashion statement, we did it to hide tons of stolen goods on us.  But even if our skill in thievery failed, we knew we could rely on brute force to get us out of a jam.  We were so confident in our fighting ability that our attitude was "even if the lousy employees see us stealing and try to stop us, we will just brutally beat them senseless".  In my late teens, after I had graduated high school, I had turned into a very cold person.  My whole life was doing whatever I wanted to, to steal and beat up and indulge in evil.  I had still not become the crazed psychopath I would eventually become in just a few years from being 19 at this time.  I messed around with jobs at fast food joints and department stores, but eventually joined the military and became a computer technician. I joined the military in 1994 and did pretty good, even though many of my co-workers didn't like me because I was a bit crazy and my Nazism would surface at times.  I was the best dressed airman there was, I took every attention to detail in my uniform, and everyone noticed it.  I became a hard-core weightlifter, and became very strong and athletic, I was benching close to 300 pounds and I had great endurance from heavy cardio (running, biking, etc...).  I started to worship myself as I had a great body and I loved sleeping around with beautiful women I would pick up at clubs.  I became so arrogant & prideful many people didn't like it.  I had never done drugs my entire life but one night I decided to do some DXM with a few friends in 1995 and I had such a bad trip I was feeling all kinds of spiritual oppression and I started to believe in an afterlife (I was an professed atheist my whole life up to this point), I had almost died I did such a large dose (I think 600 mg), but I think it was the way my body reacted to the drug.  I remember collapsing on the concrete in downtown Tucson at this park at about 1 AM and I felt it was over, all my energy was leaving my body and I could not get up.  My friends were trying to revive me, I told them simply "It's over, I'm about to die." I remember thinking to God in my mind, "Don't let me die."   Then after that I thought,  "I could have gone to a club and got laid tonight, now I'm about to die and probably go to Hell.  Why did I do this?"  Right after that, I felt some life come back into me, that I wasn't going to pass away.  I was very thankful to God that I didn't die, and my friends helped me up.  One of my friends, Jeremy, was holding my hand the rest of that night, talking to me about God and how he had really messed up doing drugs with me, and that he was sorry.  For about 8 hours after that I was still seeing stuff and sensing spirits around me, it was pretty scary, especially for a guy who didn't believe in that stuff.  I ended up meeting a guy named Rich who was a Christian with the Navigators later that night (my friend, Jeremy, who was with me while I was drugged up, had taken me to him).  Rich and I had a long talk, and I decided I would hang out with him and try to learn about God.  After that, I had decided to get baptized and start going to bible study.  Rich spent a lot of his time with me, and even though I was trying to know God, I was still very rebellious.  I had days where I felt I was with God, and then I would have days where I would toss my bible across my room and go hit the gym hard, working out my anger & hate.  I pretty much flip-flopped about God for another 2 years, but I stayed with Rich and tried my best to listen to him.  Almost 2 years later, I did DXM again, a much smaller dose (300 mg) and it's effects were terrifying,  I almost had to go into a mental institution, I don't know how I got through work, I was plagued by suicidal thoughts for months after doing it, and I felt an evil presence over me all the time.  All kinds of evil thoughts were in my mind, as if I wasn't bad enough before the DXM.  I felt on several occasions that I was going to lose control of my body to a demon that was in me, and I cried out to Jesus to save me.  I regained control immediately.  I knew I was in trouble, and I started hanging out with Rich as much as possible.  The suicidal thoughts & spiritual oppression didn't go away for about 8 months.  In December of 1996 I got deployed to Italy for several months and it was a welcome change.  About April of 1997 I had got back from Italy and things were pretty good.  Some of the suicidal thoughts were in me when I went there and over the course of the 4+ months I was there the thoughts & feelings went away.  I came back feeling good physically but having very un-godly ideas again, I couldn't figure out where they were coming from.  I gave into the thought I was just born evil, and that I could not change. I got back to Tucson and got heavily into working out again and computer games, especially first person shooters (you run around with various guns and seek to kill everybody) like Quake & Quake II and would spend 6 or more hours a day on it, becoming a master of death in that game, I loved playing people online and destroying them, it was a real rush.  I decided to write a site about Christianity, I won't go into details but I but I had started reading the Bible a bit to find errors in it and to justify my old nature coming back out.  My site was called "Jesus Christ Net" and it was not about promoting the Lord.  I would seek out believers for the sole purpose to argue and hurt them and if I could, ruin their faith.  My site got popular and many people would come to see it and read all of my evil & insanity.  I got hate mail constantly, "Christians" telling me to go to hell and that they wanted to kill me or beat me senseless.  It would drive me with the fuel to attack back and actually quote scripture to them showing them they didn't even follow God and weren't really Christians.  I felt I knew it all after awhile, I felt all religions were equal.  I decided to become a Buddhist, and started going to a Buddhist Temple in Tucson that was run by very friendly Vietnamese folks, who took me in and tried to teach me their faith.  They told me that Christianity was a good "starter" religion but that Buddhism was far superior.  They told me that even though I was angry & furious I would go to a "Heaven" for people like me (there's a "Heaven" for angry people in Buddhism) and that I would be OK, that even if I did go to hell it was only temporary and I would get out after a while (I think they said you could only be in hell for a few thousand years, and after that you got out and got reincarnated). They told me that Jesus was real but he was under Buddha.  I liked what they had to say, especially since I wouldn't have to change my life or attitude!  I decided to take down my web site and I started to respect "nature", after all that cricket could be aunt Mabel re-incarnated trying to get to "Heaven".  I would continue to practice Buddhism off and on, depending whether or not I needed to feel "spiritual" at that moment.  All the chanting and respect for nature didn't help me to overcome the evil in my heart, and only made me feel justified in everything I did.  I will say it now, Buddhism is a joke, and never helped me, and certainly didn't get rid of the demons in my life.  It is like the many religions of the world, fakes placed by Satan to keep people away from the Lord.  Note that I hate religion...rituals, chants and man-made doctrine don't save you, only Jesus Christ does. I felt the military life wearing away at me and that I had to do something about it.  I decided to submit my resume online and shortly after that I was getting job offers to work for companies like Network Associates (McAfee anti-virus) and IBM.  I took an offer to work for a big computer firm but when it came time to start working for them they dropped me because they had to do some serious lay-offs. So, here I was out of the military with no job.  I went back to California to live with my friends Ed & Angela, and tried to get a job.  Eventually I had to leave and go live with my Aunt who lived very close to Ed & Angela, and I continued to look for jobs and to take exams to get certifications with Microsoft.  I felt very angry during this time, I felt like I was being ripped off by the world.  But I refused to go back to the military, I was very stubborn and thought I was too good for the military.  I decided to write another web page, this one about suicide.  It was called simply "The Suicide Homepage".  I tossed it together in an afternoon and it got famous too.  I talked about ways to kill yourself and I bought some books essentially on how to die for more info.  I was actually seeing if somebody would kill themselves because of my site.  Many people cried to me for help, but I gave them wicked advice.  I remember at that time a fallen angel came into my room and sought to bend me to his will, it was a struggle and at first I laughed at him and told him how original I was in my evil, and that he was nothing.  I then got throttled by him and was forced to cry out to Jesus for help.  That's exactly right, I knew Buddha could not help me. Something told me to cry out to Jesus Christ, or die.  I promptly took the page down after that, but still would not come to Christ. I decided to look around the internet to find out about the afterlife not long after my encounter with the fallen angel.  I wanted to know how the spirit realm worked.  I stumbled on a site that was run by this old lady who was a medium and channeler, I will leave her site out of this and her name, but she has a big presence on the internet.  She told me about her 30 years of spiritism and about her spirit guides.  I into it very heavily, and believed everything she said.  One of her spirit guides started to visit me, and I would get dreams about him, he seemed like a cool guy at that time, I didn't know what an evil scumbag he really was.  I started going to graveyards at night after reading a site called www.ghostweb.com.  I made friends with the site's owners and continued to chat with them even after I went to Bosnia. In December of 1998 I got a big job offer to go over seas, and I eagerly took it. I worked in Bosnia for a company for a short while, and then went to Germany for an even bigger company.  I was making over $120,000 a year tax free.  My ego went through the roof.  I had so much money I didn't know what to do with it all.  I started chatting with the medium again I met before I left for Bosnia, and I also started talking with the owners at ghostweb.  The medium told me that one of her spirit guides wanted to "help" me, that he knew I had all kinds of problems and that he could solve them all.  His name was Fritz Wunderlich, a dead German tenor from the 1950's.  Right away I clicked with him, and even bought his music online (CD Universe was a favorite place for me to order from).  He told me he loved me so much he wanted to "build a spiritual house for me in the afterlife, where him and I could stay".  Now up to this point he relayed these messages from the medium, but she and he said that if I kept meditating to him I would be able to hear him one day audibly.  The medium knew things about me that she could not have known that Fritz would tell her, and this also spurned me on to believe.  I took some advice from ghostweb and bought some infrared digital equipment such as camcorders & cameras.  I started to film Fritz and could see him with the infrared technology.  It was a big rush, and I sent tapes to ghostweb and other places online to tell people what I was doing.  Not too long after that I was able to hear him and see him (sometimes) and I no longer needed to talk with the medium, but I still did. I talked with him all day, and I learned that he could read my mind as I would often think what I wanted to say to him and he would "hear" me.  My psychic (Satanic) abilities got very strong, and I was getting to the point where I could leave my body (Astral Projection).  After a few months of this, he turned on me.  He drove me insane with all his yelling and non-stop punishment.  He was able to have some power over me physically, which he never showed before.  It was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, I would have done DXM ten times in a row than to have gone through this.  I had locked myself in my apartment in Germany for 3 days, I didn't know where to go or what to do.  I kept calling out to Jesus Christ to save me and to forgive me for witchcraft (yes, I knew the Bible a bit).  He told me that if I left the apartment he would kill me.  My landlord heard me yelling to Jesus and he came to see me.  Idiot ("Fritz") told me that if I opened the door I would die, because my landlord was really a demon.  I hesitated, but finally gave in and let him in.  He had a Bible in his hand and asked me what was wrong...  I was so scared I told him "you won't kill me will you?" and he looked really sad for me and said, "No Shawn, I want to help you."  So I went up to his house with him and his wife made me some soup, I hadn't eaten in 3 days or had much water.  My landlord decided to take me to a doctor, and I was scared to go.  The doctor looked me over and said he saw nothing wrong with me, for some reason this doctor did not want to help me and my landlord was kind of dismayed about it.  So we went back to the house and I decided to try and make it to work.  I know this doesn't make any sense, but it's what I did.  I kinda tricked my landlord and I took off in my car.  I got out on the autobahn and I promptly crashed my car into a ditch.  The German police came and they didn't know what to make of me, and kept asking me how I did this.  I made up a bunch of excuses and they told me they would take me to the nearest town, as they needed a tow truck to get my car out.  So they dropped me off in downtown somewhere, I had no idea where I was.  I wandered around for awhile, and the spirit started attacking me hard again, so badly that I decided the only way out was to kill myself. I asked God to forgive me, and then I threw myself out into oncoming traffic, no less than three times.  No car ever touched me, amazingly.  After that I was so broken mentally, spiritually and emotionally I couldn't do it anymore.  I came and sat down on the sidewalk, and the German police came up to me and asked me what I was doing (I think they saw me trying to kill myself).  I said I was lost.  They took my wallet and took me to the police station.  They made me sit down and they went through my entire wallet trying to figure out who I was.  I decided after awhile to make a run for it, and I tried to leave but the door was electronically controlled.  One of the officers yelled at me to sit down.  So I figured I would wait for someone to come in and then force my way out and run for it downtown.  Again, I have no idea why I wanted to run, a lot of it was Idiot ("Fritz") telling me crazy stuff, and after awhile it just drove me nuts. So somebody did come in and I tried to force myself out but the officers caught me and got control of me.  Then they put me in a cell by myself, and I waited there for some time. Finally they came and got me, and decided to let me go!  But only if they could take me somewhere.  So, I asked them to take me to my work place, and they did.  I got there and my co-workers were wondering where I have been for three days.  They said they called me repeatedly, but I never recall my cell phone ringing.  I told one of my friends there who was one of the administrative people at my company, and she had to break down what I had been doing to my boss.  They decided I needed to see a doctor ASAP, and I went.  The doctors checked me out and did a CAT scan of my brain, and found nothing wrong.  They questioned me for some time, asking what was going on.  I finally told them I was hearing a voice, and that pretty much made them decide to send me to a German Psychiatric Hospital.  They ambulanced me there very quickly, and when I got there they restrained me physically to a bed and the head psychiatrist had a long talk with me.  It was hard to understand them, as they spoke little English.  I told him everything, and then they put me on heavy anti-psychotics and I stayed there for almost three months.  I was the only American there, and that place was packed with patients, many of them permanent residents.  The grief and confusion I felt was only interrupted when my good friends at work, including a long-time awesome friend from my military days, would come and visit me. I was eventually flown home to California to stay with my family, where I was a patient of a very respected psychiatrist in the Los Angeles area.  I will not bore you with all the details, but I wasted three years of my life seeing him constantly.  He told me that Christianity would not help me and would make matters worse for me.  He made big promises that he could fix me, that there was no God or Satan, and he highly doubted an afterlife of any kind.  He didn't believe anything I told him about all the things I did as a channeler & medium ("That's what you THOUGHT happened Shawn.").  He was baffled by a ton of infrared video I had of the spirit guide that I took, he looked very shocked at what he saw on film, and after that he didn't want to see it again.  He seemed so wise & scholarly, having many degrees and awards.  He even looked the part of a wise man, having a gray beard and wearing glasses and smoking an old crooked pipe.  He spoke very well and was very learned (in the world, anyway).  But he could never help me, all the greatest drugs were tried on me and they did nothing.  His counseling did very little for me as well.  He finally gave up one day after a few years and said that he could not help me, that he didn't have an answer for me. In early 2002, I finally realized I needed Jesus Christ.  I renounced everything with the occult and did a sinner's repentance and asked Jesus Christ into my heart and to forgive me for all my sins.  I went to a Calvary Chapel and started to meet weekly with the pastors there.  I started to read my Bible (A New Living Translation) and I started to pray, every day.  I went to church and I went to Bible study.  I started to meet some really awesome Christians and was making new friends who believed me and supported me, when just about everyone else would not believe me, including many of my own family members.  Things started looking up for me, and my situation was improving.  I wasn't hearing the voice as much, and my thoughts became less crazed and evil.  The Lord was moving in me, Praise God!  As time has gone by and my relationship with the Lord has grown continually stronger, a great peace has come over me that could only ever come from the Lord.  I love Him, and I am so glad He chose to save me from death. Later that year I met the most awesome woman I have ever been with, a woman who believes in Jesus Christ and who would eventually become my wife, and she brought (and continues to bring in abundance) great joy into my heart.  And months after that I landed a full time, good paying job up north.  Since then, my faith in God has grown even greater, especially in March of 2003, when I met Pastor Wallen Yep of Warrior Saints and many of his students, who I have become great friends with. That is my testimony.  There are things I left out because if I didn't, this could very well turn out to be 10+ pages.  I encourage anyone reading this to get right with the Lord, to believe and trust in Jesus Christ, if they already haven't.  The Lord loves you, He sent His only Son to die for us all, while we were still sinners!  If that's not true, unconditional love, I don't know what is.  I just thank & Praise the Lord with all my heart for saving & restoring me, and filling me with His awesome love! Author's Note:  I now have a loving relationship with my mother and my cousin, they both believe in Jesus Christ (amen!) and many of my other family members and friends have been brought to Christ. CLICK HERE

Joe Collins Miracle of Love

Name: Joe Email: highvoltage97200@paltalk.com Message:  MOMS JOURNAL:  5-13-97 TUESDAY. Received a call from my son, Bobby, stating that my son Joseph had been electrocuted.  He was at the Pikeville Hospital.  They were getting ready to life flight Joe to Cabell Huntington Hospital in Huntington, W.VA.  That was around 2:00 pm. I got ready and left Ashtabula.  When I arrived Joe was still in surgery, that was around 11:00 pm.  Joe's left arm was removed.  They worked on his right arm and left leg.  Thousands of volts of electricity went thru his body.  His shirt and face had caught on fire.  He was thrown 40 feet off the boom truck, landed face up on the pavement.  He had a head injury, bleeding on the brain, internal bleeding in the kidneys and liver, enlarged heart, failing lungs, broke spine in several places (5), broke pelvic bones (3), and lots of swelling and bruises.   It has been touch and go. 5-16-97 FRIDAY Dr Hunt, the surgeon, told me, and also several of my family members, on Friday that Joe was not going to make it, and that I should just accept that, and prepare myself for him to die.  I said no, that I would never accept that.  I have been living on Romans 8:28. My sister Lois was standing there when the dr.  was talking to me, to accept and prepare myself because he said Joe was not going to make it.  I told the dr.  that I would not accept that and I asked him how I was supposed to prepare myself for something like that.  I also said that it is up to God, because where there is life there is hope, and we don't look at the problem, we look at the problem solver.  The author and finisher of our faith, my savior Jesus, the one that sticks closer than a brother, the one that is with us thru the good times and the bad times, thank you Jesus.   You are so very good to us, we are so blessed by you, and I love you Lord. I called Pastor McCain and told him, for everyone to keep praying.  He prayed while I was still on the phone. 5-17-97 SATURDAY There was a complete change in Joe, the internal bleeding had stopped, Joe was breathing so much better.  The staff slowed down on giving him so much blood. 5-18-97 SUNDAY Still doing good, he tried to talk to me but he couldn't because of the tubes down his throat.  I told him don't try to talk just lay there and rest, so I kept talking to him and he would blink his eyes. When Donna got to the hospital about 10:30 pm, she had a prayer cloth and she wanted to give it to Joe.  The nurse let us tape it at his head on the wall.  Donna stood at the door of Joe's room and talked to him, she said Joey, Joey look over here at the door, I love you, and Joe turned his head toward Donna and opened his eyes and looked at her. 5-19-97 MONDAY Still doing good, Joe will have surgery again on Tuesday. 5-20-97 TUESDAY I thank and praise Jesus for healing Joe, I know he is going to be all right, Deut.28:1-14- Romans 8:28. Joe is doing pretty good. At 11:20 am Joe went into surgery. He was in surgery for 7 hours, then 2 hours to recovery.  When Dr.  Hunt came out and talked to the family, he said he took more off Joe's left arm.  He took all the burned muscle and tissue off of his right arm and his left leg, did some skin graphs on his neck and back.  The Dr. said Joe has no muscle left in his left leg, he said that his back was burned real bad, his spine half way down is busted and also his pelvis. They are going to put a body cast on him as soon as his back starts to heal.  One piece of bone went into his liver and cut a piece of his liver off, another piece of bone went into the bottom of his stomach, and there is a piece of bone that went into his spinal cord and his heart is enlarged. He is swollen and I'm still praying because I know God has everything under control. I'm praying for God to reconstruct everything that the devil tried to do, because Jesus said everything works together for good to them that loves the Lord, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. 5-21-97 WEDNESDAY 3:AM Joe is awake me and Glen went back in to see him. We talked to Joe and he opened his eyes. Joe has been doing pretty good all day. The doctor said if Joe keeps doing good, he could go off of life support. Thank you Jesus. 5-22-97 THURSDAY Went into see Joe this morning.  The doctor said Joe was doing good and talking, and he just shook his head, and said it was amazing.  I felt like saying, "I told you so".  So I went into the room and Joe was talking to me, he wanted to see Glen, so I woke Glen up and he came in the room and talked to Joe. He doesn't remember what happened to him.  He didn't remember all the people that had been here to visit him, he only remembered me and Glen.  Joe wanted us to take him home, then he talked about his house and his new furniture, he said he didn't want anybody to bother it.  I told him that Dean is taking care of all of his things, so don't worry, and he said ok. Jesus I ask you to keep your healing hand upon Joe,  and I thank you for it. 5-23-97 FRIDAY Joe is not doing good today, he is in a lot of pain, talking out of his head, very uncomfortable.  I ask the nurse to give him something for pain, and to relax him.(12:30pm) Thank you Jesus for helping Joe. (2:00pm) Joe is starting to calm down a little bit.  Oh God! touch my Joe, comforting Lord, and I thank you for it in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. (7:00pm) Joe is in a lot of pain, and really confused.  The nurse gave him some advent to relax him. (11:00pm) Joe is resting better and sleeping now.  Me and Glen stayed in the room until he went to sleep. 5-24-97 SATURDAY Joe is still resting good,  he talks about a lot of things when he is awake.  He was talking today about Ernie and little Ernie, about Jeremy, Brother Land, Brother Falke, Sister Falke.  He thought Bobby and his Dad were robbing his place, he said there was drug dealers in his room. Then he wanted some pop and ice chips.  Joe told the nurse he would pay her back for the ice chips.  Well he is sleeping now , his vital signs are good, and he has a low grade temp. Jesus I thank you for what you have done and what you are going to do. Amen. 5-25-97 SUNDAY Joe is still doing good , he has lost a lot of his memory.  I talked to the doctor and nurse about it, they said it was caused from the brain injury, they also said they do not want anyone to make him remember things, they said it could cause him to try and use his brain to hard and cause him more damage in the brain.  Joe is stable , I thank you Jesus for it. 5-26-97 MONDAY Joe is still doing good, still stable.  Having a lot of visitors.  Denise going in there and putting up a picture of her and Andrew, trying to make him remember her, showing him the picture and telling him who it was .  She went in there and did what the Dr. and nurse did not want anyone to do.  He will be going for a lot of tests tomorrow, he will have cat scans and an MRI on his back.  He wants to know when his Gramma is coming to see him. 5-27-97 TUESDAY Well, they started running tests on Joe today (7:00am), they got done around 3:00pm.  They had to give him some oxygen for a while , but he is off of it now and breathing on his own  He is very tired and sleepy. (evening) The doctor got the report back and came out to talk to us.  There is the one bone that is pressing on his nerves.  They are going to put a brace on him for a while and see if that will take care of the problem, if it doesn't, then they will do surgery at a later date. The test on the brain shows it is still swollen, now we just have to wait and see if he is still going to have surgery on his arm and leg on Thursday (28).  So as of right now Joe is resting and we are sitting here waiting for him to wake up so we can see him . He is still asking for Gramma. 5-28-97 WEDNESDAY Joe is not doing good today, he is very confused and in a lot of pain, they are giving him blood today, changing his IV to the other side.  The doctor had me sign the forms for his surgery tomorrow.  Jesus I pray that he can keep the rest of his left arm and his left leg.  Joe is still not doing good tonight, the nurse is giving him some extra medicine to relax him. 5-29-97 THURSDAY Joe was taken down for surgery about 7:am, the doctor took more of his left arm off, about halfway between his elbow and shoulder.  We are praying that Joe won't lose anymore. Dr. Hunt, is having another doctor come in and look to his right hand and left leg to see if he can take nerves from some other part of him and put in his right arm above his wrist 6 inches.  That part is burned so they can try and save his right hand and do the same thing with his left leg. He came back up from surgery about 4:00pm.  We were able to go back and see Joe about 6:00pm.   He was yelling and having a lot of pain. We came back out at 6:30pm.  I ask the nurse to call his doctor and get him something for the pain and to relax him. The doctor came and talked to us, he had looked at Joes x-rays, and told us that Joes bowels were enlarged and he was not digesting the tube feedings, that they will have been giving him. The doctor ordered some medication for the bowels and they will try to give him some IV for nourishment until his bowels get better. His temp was 102.6, Joe was not doing well at all.  Then he prayed for Bobby and then me and Bobby for Joe.  Joe went to sleep around 9:30pm, I checked with the nurse around 12:30 and he was still resting and his temp went down to 99.8 Thank you Jesus 5-30-97 FRIDAY Joe's not doing good today, he's in a lot of pain and very confused.  Started to run a fever again . Asking for Bobby and Gramma, wanting to know when they are going to be here. Joe is really going through a bad time. Glen really can calm him down and we do a lot of praying for him.  Joe says he can see angels in his room and he sees pretty white things. 5-31-97 SATURDAY Joe is still not doing good.  The other doctor they called in, came today and checked Joe and talked to us .  He seems to think he can do the surgery and save Joes right hand and left leg and that it will be successful. Thank you Jesus!  As far as I know the surgery will start Tuesday and it will take 4 days to get it all done.  Joe is really yelling with pain, not resting at all, very confused. He had a lot of visitors, Brother Denny Land, Tom, Lois, Rod, Jackie and Amy.  Joe was asking about Tommy Dan. Getting even worse, me and Glen stayed in his room about all night, trying to keep him calm.  He kept wanting to see Dean. 6-1-97 SUNDAY Joe still confused and in a lot of pain.  I ask doctor to give him something else to relax him and help him with the pain.   The doctor started him on some meds for the brain injury and some other meds for the pain and to calm him down.  He also increased his morphine drip. He started to relax some, I fed him some Jell-O and gave him some Sprite. Joe went to sleep and doing better.  Later at night Joe was still resting good and all his vital signs were good. Thank you Jesus. 6-2-97 MONDAY Joe went for surgery today.  Everything looking good so far.  Denny Land and his wife came and seen Joe today and prayed for him. Joe wanted to call Denise, so I had the nurse bring a phone in the room and I called her for him.  Joe talked to her, I think she asked Joe what she was going to do for money and a place to live, because Joe told her he would talk to Dean about it and he also said he would tell me to talk to Dean about it. He got done talking to her and he told me and Glen that Denise asked him what she was going to do for money and he told us that she can work for it. They took him down for surgery about 4:30pm and brought him back up about 6:30pm.  He also told us that she asked him what she was going to do for a place to live.   Later that evening the phone was back in Joe's room.  He said that Denise had called him and the nurse brought the phone back in there.  Joe was all upset and crying when we went back in his room.  We asked him what was wrong and he said he was scared and kept looking at his left arm.  Glen and I think Denise was trying to make him remember what happened to him and that is what he is upset about. He finally went to sleep after the nurse gave him a shot and he rested fairly good. 6-3-97 TUESDAY The hospital called me early in the morning and wanted me to come right over to the hospital.  So we got ready and went over.   Joe was really in bad shape.  He was remembering some things about the accident, but he was not sure about what happened, but he did say that Terry Woods was the boss and he should know what happened.  He also said it was not funny moving me up and down and you are too close to the wire.   Joe was really crying about losing his left arm and all the pain he was in.  He wanted his family to come down. Bobby, Michelle, Dean and Cynthia came down in the evening and visited him.  He was still upset, but before they left, the nurse gave him a shot and he went to sleep and he rested good. 6-4-97 WEDNESDAY Joe was confused real bad.  We went in and stayed with him.  We also went with him down to surgery, 2nd floor.  They took Joe into surgery at noon. Report to us at 3:30, he is doing good. Report to us at 6:30 still doing good. Report to us at 8:30 still doing good Report to us at 10:00 everything looking good  They got the blood flowing through the right arm and hand. Report at midnight, still doing good, same as 2:00. The doctor got done at 4:00am and he came and talked to us. The Dr. told us that his right arm is doing good, but he ran out of nerve ends for his arm.  He will take nerve ends from his right leg at a later date to put more in his right arm.  The doctor also put what was needed into his left leg.  Everything looking good so far.  They had to put Joe back on life support.  His lungs have a lot of fluid on them.  God has brought him this far, so I know my Jesus has a purpose for Joe, and I thank God for what he has already done and for what he is going to do . Joe has been sleeping all day and through the night. 6-6-97 FRIDAY Joe is still not doing good, he has a lot of fluid in his body. His lungs don't sound too good.  We are still praying for him.  Some of the electricity that was still in his body came out between his legs and out of his left leg. He has been sleeping a lot today, his heart rate is going up and down. 6-7-97 SATURDAY Joes blood pressure is very high, he is sleeping a lot on and off.  He is very confused part of the time. He is still on life support.  Joes nurse Pam had come in at 7:00pm.  Glen went back to Joes room at 11:00pm and caught Pam pushing the tube down Joes throat and tying a string around the tube and around his head, Glen jumped on her over it. 6-8-97 SUNDAY Joe took his life support out later past midnight.  He is talking today, mixed up on some things, Joes vital signs are starting to be stable. We went in Sunday night and Joe was a mess.  The nurse Pam had let him bite the blood out of his thumb and he kept hitting his face with the cast.  His face, thumb and neck were bleeding. I jumped on Pam, I also turned her in to the doctor and I'm also going to turn her in to the main boss.  I do not want her back in his room ever again. 6-9-97 MONDAY Joe is about the same.  I took care of the nurse Pam.  She is not allowed back in Joe's room anymore. Joe is sure having a lot of pain, they are trying to keep him as comforted as they can.  We just keep praying for him. 6-10-97 TUESDAY Joe is going to have surgery again today.  They took him down at 4:30pm and brought him back at 7:00pm. He was awake when they brought him off the elevator.  Glen and I were standing there in the waiting room.  Soon as he saw us he started waving at us. He is still having a lot of pain.  Pastor Lavern and Freddie came down to see him today.  We all prayed for him. 6-11-97 WEDNESDAY Joe is still uncomfortable and in a lot of pain.  He is talking a little about his accident.  He still does not know what happened to him, but he said when it happened, he kept saying he was a senator of God and you can't kill me. He said "Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus". Even with Joe in all this pain, he keeps praying for all his family.  Bless him Lord. After midnight, they moved Joe down to 2nd floor north room 2757. 6-12-97 THURSDAY Joe was in pain all night, Wednesday night.  He started to rest some about 2:00 in the afternoon, and he is still resting good in the evening.  Also they put him in a better bed today and let him try to sit up in the bed, but he got sick to his stomach and they had to lay him back down.  That was the first time he had sat up in 31 days. 6-13-97 FRIDAY Joe is having a lot of pain.  They are trying to find something that will ease the pain. 6-14-97 SATURDAY Joe is in a lot of pain.  Very upset, wanting to see his kids for Fathers Day.  But Denise makes up reasons why she can't come down and bring them.  I think she is lying. Joe is crying his eyes out because the kids aren't coming down.   He is also in a lot of pain. 6-15-97 SUNDAY Joe has had a lot of visitors over the weekend and he is still having a lot of pain. Still wanting to see his kids. 6-16-97 MONDAY Joe is starting to feel a little better today.  They removed his IV and the feeder tube came out today. We got him up in a wheelchair and took him outside for an hour and then we put him back to bed.  He ate a little bit of cheeseburger and fries and he had some pizza and Pepsi.  The pain is not as bad today. 6-17-97 TUESDAY Joe is still doing better.  We got him up 3 times and took him outside.  Suzy came to see him and that made his day. It was so nice to see him happy and smiling for a change.  His pain is not as bad now because they finally found some medicine that helps it. 6-18-97 WEDNESDAY Joe is still doing good.  They told us if he keeps doing good, he will be going to Cardinal Hill Hospital in Lexington, KY. in about 2 to 3 weeks. Thank you Jesus for a speedy recovery. 6-19-97 THURSDAY Joe still doing good, up all day and outside.  Still has a lot of muscle pain, but doing good. 6-20-97 FRIDAY Joe still doing good.  He will be going to Cardinal Hill on Monday.  He is happy about that. 6-21-97 SATURDAY Joe is still doing good.  Andrew and Ashley and a lot of people came to visit him over the weekend. 6-22-97 SUNDAY Joe is doing fine and we will be getting him ready to move him to Lexington tomorrow.  He has even been walking a little bit.  God has really been good to Joe and we all praise Jesus for it. 6-23-97 MONDAY Joe is doing good. We got to Cardinal Hill today. It is very nice here. Joe is real happy about being here. 6-24-97 TUESDAY Joe still doing good.  Still has a lot of pain.  He has been in therapy all day today.  He learned how to push himself all over the hospital.  He also learned to feed himself, all in all he is doing better each day. Curtis and Sadie came down to see him today.  Glen went to his father's house for a few days.  He went back with Curtis, so they can spend some time together.  Glen worries about his dad and he needs a break to rest.  Glen has been here for Joe ever since his accident.  I don't know what Joe would have done without Glen here to be with him.  I don't know what I would have done without him here supporting me. Thank you Jesus for Glen and what you have done for Joe. 6-25-97 WEDNESDAY Joe still having a lot of pain, misses Glen real bad. Denise still calling and upsetting him. 6-26-97 THURSDAY Joe same as yesterday. Doing a lot of pt and to and having a lot of pain. 6-27-97 FRIDAY Glen and Curtis came to see Joe today. Brought him some homemade candy and a balloon. 6-28-97 SATURDAY Denise and Kim are still calling and upsetting Joe. He gets real upset when they call. The doctor, nurse and everyone else Joe tells about how they upset him. The doctor does not want Joe to talk to them anymore and I agree. 6-29-97 SUNDAY Joe has a lot of visitors today. Feeling some better. Michelle stayed here at the hospital with me and Joe. 6-30-97 MONDAY Joe might becoming home pretty soon, for a while. Glen came back today and Joe is real happy about that. 7-1-97 TUESDAY Joe is going home today. We got a nice big house to live in about 5 miles from Prestonsburg at 1411 KY. State Route 404.  It is a doublewide trailer with 375 acres, lots of yard. 7-2-97 WEDNESDAY Joe doing pretty good, he has a good day and a bad day.  We had to take him to Highlands Hospital, the low part of his back was hurting real bad.  He pulled it the wrong way.  We got it x-rayed, all 5 breaks are still lined up good, so we brought him back home with us. 7-3-97 THURSDAY Joe’s back still hurting him, but starting to feel better. Thank you Jesus. 7-4-97 FRIDAY Happy 4th of July Joe.  We had lots of company today.  We all ate and went to listen to a band at Wal-Mart parking lot and to watch the fireworks.  The fireworks really scared Joe, I had to cover his ears.  He doesn’t know why they scared him.  We got him home and had watermelon and he started feeling better. Thank you Jesus. 7-5-97 SATURDAY Joe went to the Collins family reunion today.  He was gone for about 3 hours , he came home and napped until evening.  Now he’s gone over to Goble Roberts so Glen can push him around there in his wheelchair.  He is feeling better. Thank you Jesus. Joe has his good days and his bad days.  But all in all, God has brought him through all of this and God is still working on Joe. 8-5-97 Joe not doing so good, had to go in the hospital at Highlands.  Joe stayed one night there.  His electrolytes are very low; the doctor ordered stuff for him to drink to build him up. 8-8-97 Dean, Bobby and myself went to Ashtabula, OH. to Lois picnic.  That made Joe feel better, but it really wore him out.  But he is doing better everyday and getting stronger. I praise and thank Jesus for it.  I feel God has a great work for Joe.  I pray he keeps his heart and eyes on Jesus, don’t let anything get between him and the Lord, because we know that Satan tries to stop the work of God.  We know that Satan came to steal, kill and destroy.  Satan will even send one of his angels and they will appear as an angel of light , but inside they are nothing but a wolf.  But praise God, Satan has no hold on God’s people.  We can fight Satan with God’s word. So we need to study the Bible and when Satan comes against us, we can tell Satan it is written .  I just cannot thank God enough for what he has done for Joe. Joe is doing so good, and I know it is only because of my God. 8-23-97 He is walking now with a cane.  But I know it will be just a matter of time and he won’t need a cane. Mike and Tonya came in from Ohio. 8-31-97 Labor Day weekend is here.  We are having a picnic for Joe and everyone came to visit him.  Lois and Tom, Boyd and Patty and kids came from Ohio to see him.  Charlotte and Kim also came down. 9-4-97 Denise is still pushing Joe to move in with her. 9-5-97 Denise kept calling here and she told Joe if he didn’t move over there with her, that she was going to move to Ohio and take Andrew with her and Joe wouldn’t see him anymore. So Joe moved in with her. I pray that Joe keeps his eyes on Jesus, I know God has a work for Joe, and I pray that nothing gets in the way of Joe doing what God has called him to do, I love Joe and I want the very best for him. Joe is going back and forth to the dentist to get his teeth fixed that the electricity damaged.  There are 18 teeth to be fixed. 9-24-97 Joe came over and stayed all night with us tonight, sure w as glad to have him home for a while . 9-25-97 Joe is gone to therapy today in Pikeville, Ky.  He is doing much better and I praise God for it all. Thank you Jesus! Joe has really been through a lot since 5-13-97.  He has been through a lot at 26 years of age, than most people go through in a lifetime. But God has been there with him. Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus. 9-27-97 Joe c ame back here to live for a while.  Him and Denise aren’t getting along.  I just pray that Joe finds happiness in all this mess.  I know that he can if he would only turn it over to the Lord. 10-4-97 Denise moved back to Ohio today and Joe is even more upset.  He is confused and mixed up and crying, I sure pray that everything works out for him and God gets the glory out of it all. He is losing the feeling in his hand, that started over a week ago. he is not supposed to put pressure on it , but he is pushing himself to get better and he needs to slow down and let the nerves heal real good in his hand. 10-7-97 Joe will probably be going to hospital Friday 10-10-97 for surgery.  The nerves in his hand have gotten damaged and the doctor said that was unusual, but it happened some time.  I just keep praying for him, I know God has his mighty hand on Joe. Joe has had a lot more surgery.  He has had surgery 16 times on his arm and hand, and 15 times on his legs so far.  I thank and praise Jesus that he has brought Joe through all of this. Thank you Jesus! The story you just read is a true story because it talks about me, my name is Joseph Collins and since this accident, within the year from the date it all started I have fully recovered from every injury and started walking in 6 weeks after my release from the hospital. Thank you Jesus! It was a battle re-learning everything but by the wonderful gift of Grace, I have victory in Jesus because he is my Grace the rock of my salvation... AMEN I pray this testimony has at least helped one person, if it has then God has accomplished what he sent it to do. His Servant Joseph A. Collins   CLICK HERE for more testimonies